How will I talk about sex with my child?

How will I talk about sex with my child?

Discussing sex with children is a 'hot' topic for many parents. Even parents who may be comfortable in various aspects of their lives, when questions about sex or how children are made, are embarrassed and tongue tied.

But the issue of sex should not be avoided. Parents can encourage healthy feelings about sex by responding to children's queries appropriately, always according to the age of the child, so that they can understand what you are describing.

At what age do children start exploring their bodies?

In fact, since infancy, children are exploring their bodies. With the same interest, various parts of their body are curious. Soon the differences between boys and girls begin to realize and it is quite natural that their curiosity drives them apart.

Toddlers often touch their genitals when they are naked in the bathtub or diaper changing. And of course at this age there is no shame or modesty. This behavior of children is a sign of perfectly normal and unexpected curiosity, is not related to sexual activity, is noted by the American Academy of Pediatrics, so children should not be punished or molested.


What do we do when a child starts touching his or her genitals?

The approach of children at this stage also depends on the internal codes of communication of each family. That is, the approach is determined by the level of comfort, style, and values ​​that parents perceive with their children.

But the common denominator in any particular treatment should be acceptance, not punishment or shame over the subject. Children should primarily feel comfortable and that this quest is normal, otherwise they may be over-focused on their genitals and sex or feel ashamed.

Some parents choose to ignore when their children are touched or trying to pull their interest in something else. But it should certainly be understood by the child that this is something that is done privately and not in public view.

What do we answer when a very young child asks where the babies come from?

It is a matter of adapting it literally to the age of the child. But the logic should be clear and real. We can therefore explain that the child grows up in an egg on his mom's belly (even pointing at your belly) and comes out of a specific area called a vagina.

At this stage there is no need to explain the act of love, especially in younger children not being able to grasp the concepts around it. You can however explain that when a woman and a man fall in love then they want and enjoy being close. You are also talking about the man's sperm merging with the woman's egg and then the baby starts to grow.

Children ages 6 and under will find that they accept the answer. In general, respond in a straightforward and clear manner and you will find that your child is satisfied with a little more information at a time.


What do we do when we realize that children are playing 'the doctor'?

Those between the ages of 3 and 6 are very likely to play this game. Usually parents are overreacting when they realize that children are pointing at their genitals or are touching each other. Intense punishment or punishment is not the right treatment. Also, parents should not worry that this will lead to problematic behavior.

Often, the presence of just one parent is enough to stop the game. Explain in a calm but firm way that you perceive the interest and curiosity of the boyfriend or girlfriend in the body, but people generally cover these points in the presence of another person. This way you set boundaries around this issue without making your child feel guilty.

In addition, this age is suitable for speaking good and bad touch. Explain to your children that their bodies belong to one and the same, and that they have the right to privacy. Therefore, no friend or relative has the right to touch or otherwise deal with these secret parts of their body.

However, the exception will be clarified for the parent who is trying to find the cause of some pain that the child may have in their genitals or organs, as well as the physician examining them for health reasons.

Children should keep it in mind from an early age that they can understand what you are telling them, that no one else, for any reason, ever touches them or has any other contact. They should demand that this be stopped and they will definitely learn to speak to you whenever this happens. Anything that can make them feel bad or uncomfortable should teach them to express it to you.

When do we talk to our children about sex?

In fact, newer approaches say that the subject of sex must be slowly explained to the child as he or she grows, discovers, listens and sees. In other words, it should be a gradual 'unfolding' process in which children learn step by step what they need and what they ask for. Each question should be answered as children grow older so that their normal curiosity can be satisfied as they mature.

If again your child is not particularly interested in the topic or has questions about sex, do not ignore it. At the age of about 5 you can show him or her some books. Keep in mind that as parents it is usually difficult for people to find the right words and books can be very helpful.


At what age should they learn about menstruation?

Children of both sexes need to learn about menstruation at about the age of 8. This is a topic of particular interest to girls. Many mothers share their personal experiences with their daughters, discussing when their own period began, how they felt, and that it was ultimately not something they deserved to worry about.


At what age do your children get naked at home?

Families tend to set their own boundaries around the issue of modesty and nudity. They are topics that vary widely from family to family and from culture to culture. Despite the differences, however, privacy is a concept to be learned in practice, no matter what.

Parents should explain privacy boundaries, as well as other boundaries set by a family so that children do not develop guilt or secrecy about the subject.


To what extent can parents rest on the sex education that children learn at school?

Parents should normally begin to introduce terms and explain sexual education issues to their children before they even start going to school. Introduction to this subject varies from school to school, but usually begins in the large elementary classes.

Children, when learning about sex - at school or out of school - are likely to have many questions, as their subject seems a bit confused. Parents should be open to discussing these questions together, to continue the dialogue that may start outside the home.

Your children's body changes and sex issues are a very important part of human evolution. The approach is certainly not simple, but it must be done steadily, gradually and with every opportunity that comes up, depending on the age of your child. If you still have questions, it's always a good idea to consult a scientist, pediatrician or psychologist.




By Dr Angel,

Aggeliki Koskeridou

Holistic Doctor – Counseling Psychotherapist

Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine

MSc Health Psychology

insta: dr_aggelikikoskeridou_official 


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